I need some one to help me with my sexuality?

Hi, i am a 17 year old boy and i am having trouble figuring out my sexuality. I have never really had a seriou girlfriend, I had one back in grade 5 and i kissed her. I had a few others that never lasted more than a few weeks around grade 6 - 7 and in the summer going to grade 10 i had a girlfriend, whom i had the opportunity to do things with(sexually) and i never even kissed her in the whole month we went out. I just never knew when to make a move. Now, i assume girls wouldnt really take me serious as boyfriend material as no girls hardly text me or ever ask to hang out. I am not saying im a loser or anything as i have a bunch of friends and im always out as things with them. For a while i thought that this lack of relationships and never having any sexual activities with girls, was just making me "horny" (sorry i dont know any other word to put it) and i would do anything with anyone, male or female. But then i started thinking, back in grade 8 i was looking at guys and asturbating while thinking of some of my guy friends or looking at pictures of them. I now watch gay porn quite a bit, however watch regular porn just as much. I still think about some of the guys i know, especially this guy i know, Carl, and i always fantisize about having sex with him, and i want to give him a ******* so bad. But then i also fantisize about girls i know and having sex with them. I also often, i the shower, finger my anus, and stick things up there, to simulate having sex with a guy. Which makes me ask another question, where would a 17 year old guy get a vibrator, with out his parents knowing? (i dont have someone older to get it for me). I even sometimes wish i was a girl so i could go out with guys and suck their penis' and not worry about anything. could some one please give me some advice? thanks a bunch